


obsession

by carrionkid



Category: Daredevil (Comics), Marvel 616
Genre: Canon Compliant, Character Study, Daredevil (1964): #181, Gen, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Stream of Consciousness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:15:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24582919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carrionkid/pseuds/carrionkid
Summary: a quick character study of bullseye and his weird Things for matt and elektra. canon compliant, post #181-Might not realize it, but they're tied together. Linked by blood, by the red strings of fucking fate.That dear Devil of his, of course, but miss Tall, Dark, and Handsome, too. She'srealspecial, when it comes down to it.Dead one second, alive the next. Now you see her, now you don't. She'smagic,but he istoo.Probably wouldn't even think about her so much if she didn't comebackand he can't abide by a job half done, but she wasn't ever really ajob.No, she waspersonal,since she took his job and all.
Kudos: 12





	obsession

Might not realize it, but they're tied together. Linked by blood, by the red strings of fucking fate. 

That dear Devil of his, of course, but miss Tall, Dark, and Handsome, too. She's  _ real  _ special, when it comes down to it. 

Dead one second, alive the next. Now you see her, now you don't. She's  _ magic _ , but he is  _ too. _

Probably wouldn't even think about her so much if she didn't come  _ back _ and he can't abide by a job half done, but she wasn't ever really a  _ job. _ No, she was  _ personal,  _ since she took  _ his _ job and all.

Fisk liked her better. He  _ knows  _ it's true, makes his blood fucking boil 'cos even now, he's still in her shadow. Yeah, everyone knows his name, but everyone knows  _ hers  _ too.

But that's not  _ all  _ it is.

Jealousy doesn't even start to cover  _ half  _ of it.

See, it all shook out so perfectly. She was Matty's old flame; Matty and his dear, dear, Devil were one and the same. It's like they're  _ meant _ for each other.

Which is why killing her didn't stick, he figures. 

She's  _ beautiful _ , really. Moves like fucking silk, matched him blow for blow until he got  _ lucky _ , but he's never been one for close quarters.

Can't quite get her off his mind, even now. Thinks about her almost as often as he thinks about Matty. The angel and the devil on his shoulder, always by his side. 

Isn't just metaphorical for her, though. He doesn't take trophies, usually. Doesn't need 'em, but he made an exception for her. Something just told him it was the right thing to do.

So he took her scarf. Her sais, too.

Still has 'em. 

And he takes  _ real  _ good care of them, makes sure they're tucked away somewhere safe on the off chance he gets taken in. Keeps her blades clean, razor sharp, almost like a ritual. He's used  _ others  _ like 'em, but these ones are special.

The scarf is silk and he takes real good care of it too, but it's still a little blood stained. Not that he minds, just makes it all the more  _ special. _

They're tokens, parts of her, even now that they're his. He wonders if she can feel them, still. Feel how clean he keeps them, how careful he is with them.

He knows a lot about her. Always does his homework. 

Sure, he didn't dig this deep when he  _ killed  _ her, but he's doing his due diligence so he can be ready for his second chance. More than that, he  _ wants  _ to know her. Wants every little part of her packed away in perfect boxes, stored for later.

She was born out of death and he thinks that's downright fan-fucking-tastic. Born kicking and screaming, covered in blood, desperate to  _ live.  _ Should've known she was made for this life from the start.

Went to all the best schools that daddy could buy, 'til she went off the deep end, stumbled head first into the best institution daddy could buy. Said she was a danger to herself and others, which is such a pathetic way to put it. Barely even covers the half of it.

She's  _ perfect,  _ sharp as a knife, can't even tell unless you know what to look for and by then, it’s already too damn late.

And then, when she was all grown up, she went to New York and met Matty. Match made in heaven, or whatever other bullshit you pick.

That's what makes his blood boil. She's  _ better  _ than him, sure as shit doesn't wanna admit it but she  _ is.  _ Fisk liked her better, Matty's in fucking  _ love  _ with her, even knowing about all the blood on her hands.

He'd like to crawl inside her skin and be her for a day or two.

But he'll have to settle for second best. Same as  _ fucking  _ always.

He even figured out what perfume she used to wear a while back. Probably doesn't anymore, not after she died, 'cos he knows better than anyone that there's a Before and an After. 

(The sais and the scarf are from  _ his  _ Before. Part of why he needs them so bad, last things he had before the Devil dropped him off that building.)

That way, even now that it's been  _ years,  _ the scarf still smells like her.

Needs it to, or the magic wears off. Then it's just another bloodstained scrap of silk. But when it smells like her, he won't ever  _ forget. _ Always knows exactly what it means.

Sometimes, he wonders if Matty bought it for her. Really, really hopes he did.

That'd just be  _ perfect.  _

His eyes flutter shut and he  _ thinks.  _ Thinks about Matty going from store to store, feeling scarf after scarf until he found just the right one. Must've been something real special. Probably expensive, wanted to impress her. Poured weeks worth of pay into one little gift for her.

Bet her eyes lit up.

Or maybe they didn't. Maybe they've always been that cold, that empty, like a dead girl walking, and she fell in love with the first guy that couldn't tell. Didn't say anything, didn't call her on it, so she took his heart and never let go of it.

Well, at least until Bullseye got to her.

Now it's  _ his. _

Got his own little piece of her.

She'd probably skin him alive if she knew about it, but she doesn't. Won't  _ ever  _ find out, 'cos he couldn't bear to lose it.

And the not knowing makes it  _ sweeter,  _ when it comes down to it. Probably thinks it got lost somewhere in the morgue, at the funeral, and, well, she got her hands on another one anyway. 

But he's willing to bet it keeps her up at night.

Crawls right under her skin and drives her  _ crazy. _

Same way she's under  _ his _ skin, really. Gnawing away at the back of his mind. Downright demeaning, is what it is, but he kind of  _ likes  _ it.

And she's different than his Devil.

He did six goddamn months of classical dance between jobs just so he could move like her. Wanted to see if Matty would notice the next time they fought. Or maybe that's the lie he told himself.

Sounds better than any of the other options. Easier to explain, too.

Doesn't have a fucking death wish, so he's never gonna dress up like her and hit the streets. She'd pay him back real quick. With interest, of  _ course.  _ Wouldn't just knock his lights out and let him go like Matty did.

But he still wants to know what it feels like. To be her.

Doesn't like being himself much, anyway, but she's so fucking  _ perfect _ . Everyone goddamn  _ loves _ her.

He twists the scarf between his hands, wraps it around his wrists.

Maybe he'll choke her with it. 

But that's too up close and personal, too much room for error. He's gotta make it quick, efficient, 'cos he's willing to bet she'll be ready for him. Yeah, she's been waiting for this for a good while. Always looking over her shoulder, he hopes. Doesn't even need her to be  _ scared  _ of him, just hopes she knows he'll do it again.

Maybe he'll just keep it forever, his dirty little secret.

He loosens up his grip on it, lets the fabric go slack. Doesn't like it when it gets all wrinkled. It's too special for that.

(Sometimes he even sleeps with it, like a goddamn  _ child.) _

(Hates how much it makes him feel  _ safe.) _

Then, he throws it over his shoulders. If he had a wig, he could probably tie it back like hers. Hasn't gone that far yet, but he kinda likes the idea.

Likes thinking about her brushing her hair. Over and over and over, just waiting to tie her hair up. Might not even do that much anymore, might just let it tangle, like the scared animal she is.

But, no, no, that's more  _ him  _ than her and he's gotta keep those lines straight so he doesn't ruin his dreams. 

She doesn't seem like she's scared of anything, much less dying.  _ He's  _ the coward.

He's the rabbit and she's the fox. Can't get too cocky.

Just got lucky, really. When it comes down to it. He couldn't ever bring himself to kill his Devil, no matter how many times he had the chance.

(Not that it mattered, anyway. She's still kicking around.)

(Mocking him, just by the fact she's here.)

He hates them both. Almost as much as he  _ needs _ them.

Can't stand  _ anyone  _ who steals his spotlight, but he especially hates the ones who get between himself and the two of them. Wants to be the only thing on either of their minds. The only person they ever think about. First thing in the morning and last thing at night.

Awful ambitious, but it's good to have goals.

And he won't ever be like them, but he can make their lives a living hell.

(He's  _ tried  _ being like them _.  _ But it never ends well. He's surprised Matty even let him  _ live  _ after he took his place.)

Just his fucking lot in life. Always the runner up, never good enough for anyone.

He wraps the scarf around his neck with a flourish, bats his eyes like he's ready for his magazine cover. Wonders how she does it. How she can stomach shit like this once she knows what it's like to kill someone.

Maybe it's the attention. Can't blame her for  _ that.  _

But she's a greedy fucking girl, wants both worlds all to herself. At least Matty's got the courtesy to be so stupidly naive to think that he can manage both of 'em. But  _ her _ ? She just takes and takes and  _ takes _ . 

Got the world on a fucking platter, 'cos everyone  _ adores  _ her.

He loops the scarf around his neck a second time, carefuller now.

Takes one end in each hand and  _ pulls. _

Gentle, just testing it out. Leaning into the tightness in his throat and the jackhammer of his heart.

(He  _ hates  _ her.)

A little tighter, a little more pressure, cautious, so he won't rip the scarf.

_ (Hates  _ her for being better than him.)

Reflex takes over and he's gasping, mouth open, like that'll help.

( _ Hates  _ her for taking his place.)

It won't go too far, he'll let go long before it'll kill him.

(For coming back from the  _ fucking _ dead.)

Seeing spots now, but he won't let up, imagines it's her hands around his neck.

(For being so damn important to Matty.)

Or maybe he's imagining it's  _ her _ instead of him, tears rolling down  _ her _ cheeks, choked half to death by her  _ own  _ scarf.

(For getting under his skin, clawing her way into his heart and setting up camp like she owns it.)

And then it's Matty's hands on his neck, putting him outta his misery, praying for forgiveness all the while.

But he'd never do  _ that.  _ Still got too much of a moral compass.

It's enough to ruin the whole damn thing. Just makes his skin crawl instead of giving him  _ clarity,  _ giving him some kinda  _ catharsis. _

So he lets the silk go slack, hands falling to his sides. It'll hide the bruises perfectly like this, doesn't even have to do anything himself.

  
Maybe  _ that's  _ why she liked it so much.


End file.
